a warped view

So do you know what is super duper awesome? When you spend about 20 minutes writing a blog post and then you publish it but forget to use tags so you go back in to add them but then your blog eats your blog post! That's what just happened. This was a post and then suddenly it wasn't. Well now it is again. Well it will be soon when I've rewritten it. *grr*

Here are the lyrics from the song that inspired my Unsent Letters, seemed appropriate to share after today's post Unsent - Alanis Morissette Dear Matthew I like you a lot I realize you're in a relationship With someone right now and I respect That I would like you to know that if you're ever single In the future and you want to come visit me in California I would be open to spending time with you and finding Out how old you were when you wrote your first song Dear Jonathan I liked you too much I used to be attracted to boys Who would lie to me and think solely about themselves and you Were plenty self-destructive for my taste at the time I used to say The more tragic the better the truth is whenever I think of the early 90's Your face comes up with a vengeance like it was yesterday Dear Terrance I love you muchly you've been nothing But open hearted and emotionally available and supportive And nurturing and consummately there for me I kept drawing you in And

Dear ALL the Boys of my Youth, Let me start by saying I'm sorry. Each of you has a particular thing that I am sorry for but let's just assume that I am sorry for everything. In case you were unaware, when I was 16 an event happened that would shape who I would become in the months and years that came after it. I was terribly hard on myself growing up, I believed I was an ugly hideous beast that would be alone forever because no boys would ever want to be with me. I didn't even have my first kiss until I was 16 (with you Luke, where are you now?). I had no self confidence whatsoever. Then on a night out with a friends, one of my friends older brother and some of his friends a thing happened that changed who I was. One of the older brothers friends got me alone (everyone else was busy breaking into the Local Outdoor Pool) and started  to tell me lovely things. It rapidly became something more than talking and before I knew it, this boy I hardly knew was having sex with