a warped view

I've spoken quite a bit about how much I love love. I like to say the word love, I like to tell people I love them, I'm a big fan of the whole concept. Yet I despise the day that purports to be the celebration of one of my favourite things. It's that v day thing today and I'm doing my very best to ignore it. Yes, I'm one of THOSE people. Of course there's a part of me that would love to have roses delivered to me but I would much prefer to receive them because my husband loves me and thought of it himself, not because a day (and a whole bunch of retailers) told him to. The way lovers are supposed to treat each other on v day is the way they should treat each other every day of every month of every year. Love your girlfriend? Give her flowers just because. Love your boyfriend? Cook him a romantic meal because you care. Love your wife? Give her jewellery just to let her know you love her. Love your husband? Give him a blow job because its Thursday and you love h...

Things I am grateful for today 1. Tomorrow we fly to Bali 2. Erin 3. My mum for so many reasons but today in particular for looking after our kids while we're away 4. A fabulous group of friends who are helping out while we're in Bali 5. Music 6. That I can lay on my bed and look out the window at the trees and the sky 7. That I've been blessed by so many wonderful opportunities this year 8. Hugs from small people 9. Smiles 10. The words "I love you" What are you grateful for today?

I have trouble picking my favourite singers or bands, my all time favourite albums and songs, there is just too much I love. So I thought I'd share my favourite three songs by one of my favourite Australian singers. I think she's a pretty awesome person too and absolutely delightful to talk to if you're ever lucky enough to meet her. 1. Peccadilloes (2008, The Moon Looked On)   This song has always been one of my favourites, theres just something about it. Perhaps its been the little girl in me, who after being hurt and betrayed so many times in the past, is still looking for that someone to tell all my peccadilloes to. If you're outside looking in and you see me inside waving, could you place your fat lips on the window glass? And I will blow a short hot breath and draw my secrets into it. All my peccadilloes, only you will know. You're standing in the snow. You're laughing like you love me. You build your snow man dough and I pretend I can...

Today I am grateful for Lovely dreams Being woken up with kisses Homemade lemonade Good timing Patience ( a rareity for me) Gentlemen who still have manners Free time My kindle Dinner time inspiration even though it's not very inspiring All the amazing people I have in my life right now

Things I'm grateful for today 1. Free movies tickets to Django Unchained last night 2. That I have a friend as wonderful as Ben who picks me up when I feel down and tells me I can when I think I can't 3. CT (as per the above) 4. The #hsp 5. That I have children who are intelligent and articulate enough to stand up for themselves 6. That I am fortunate enough to have Millicent, Sean, Jess, Caleb, Mia and Paige in my life 7. That I'm having dinner with three amazing women that I admire and adore tonight 8. That I'm meeting one of the above three women IRL for the first time tonight 9. That my 6 year old thinks I'm a great singer even though I'm really not 10. Music. It helps me feel happy, sad or angry, it helps me change my mood or indulge it, it makes life better. What are you grateful for today? Edit: I'm also grateful for the RAC man who came and changed our tire after we got a flat on the freeway of all places an...

Growing up I was a victim of the Hollywood / Disney disease. I was indoctrinated to believe that girls were delicate princesses that needed to be rescued by handsome, dashing, sword wielding princes (or sometimes not princes, but still heroic, good looking men). Even intelligent, capable, courageous woman would ultimately still need rescuing at some point. Of course this rescuing would lead to true love, romance and happily ever after, which is, of course, every woman's dream come true. Also part of the indoctrination. Generations of girls, brainwashed to believe that our lives should be engineered around finding that one man, that Prince Charming to rescue us from our dreary lives (cause let's be honest, not many of us are being held captive by dragons). Despite knowing how silly the whole thing is, how unrealistic and misogynistic, the heart still secretly hopes for that happily ever after. However in recent years my view of that happily ever after has changed. After bei...

Quite often, when trying to explain my depression to people I use the phrase "my depression voice" or the "irrational voice" to describe the constant critic that lives in my head. Occasionally I wonder if people are going to take that to mean that I hear voices Beautiful Mind style or that I might start conducting a fight club with myself or talking to a giant rabbit. I can promise you that none of those thing are true, or are going to come true... well I might start talking to Frank but it's unlikely. However the truth is that I do deal with a constant voice in my head. The depression voice is always there, sometimes whispering quietly, sometimes screaming at me until I break. The depression voice is that arsehole that is constantly telling me that I'm not capable, that I'm worthless, that people don't like me. It's the voice that stops me from leaving my house, its the voice that looks in the mirror and tells me how ugly and unlovable I am...

Our first Threesome Thursday is inspired by the fact that earlier this week I watched Finding Nemo with the gorgeous @shellzii to help cheer her up. When I say I watched it with her, she was at her house and I was at my house and we tweeted our favourite lines and moments to each other. I'm sure everyone else found it very annoying ;) So here are my top 3 Pixar Partnerships 1. Dory & Marlin (Finding Nemo) The relationship that builds between these two is so incredibly beautiful. Its a platonic friendship that is so innocent and pure and brings out the absolute best in both of them. I am slightly biased towards this pair up because Dory is my spirit animal! Here are some of the top moments of the film followed by one of the saddest moments of any film ever, it breaks my heart every time. "No. No, you can't... STOP. Please don't go away. Please? No one's ever stuck with me for so long before. And if you leave... if you leave... I just, I rememb...

Sometime ago there was a regular thing on Tuesdays where we all posted ten things we were grateful for that day. I haven't done it for a while and thought it was probably time for more gratitude so Tuesdays will now be known as Ten Tuesday and will be full of thanks. Feel free to join in in the comments section, on your own blog (put the link in the comments so we can all read), share on twitter with the hash tag #10tuesday or jot them down in a notebook (so bespoke!) I am grateful that... 1. I am surrounded by people I love and that love me 2. this year I might finally figure out what I want to be when I grow up 3. I have been given the opportunity to go on an amazing adventure 4. people believe in me 5. big splashes of rain just fell on my head 6. I have an overseas holiday to count down to 7. I had a lovely dinner with my family tonight 8. I have both Bahen & Co. and Gabriel chocolates hidden away in my house for when I need them 9. I have people that I can talk ...

The films we saw today. I was a bit tired and forgetful so I didn't do my recommendations for Monday. There's actually only 5 sessions on Monday and I recommend each and everyone one of them! There's Last Days of the Arctic, Paul Williams, the Color Wheel, the first Crispin Glover Session and Love. If you want to see any of the movies we saw today they are on again on the following days; the Way of the Morris is on Friday at 5pm, Bad Brains is on next Sunday at 8:45pm and Whisperer in the Darkness is on Thursday at 5pm.

I'm having one of those nights that I sometimes have, where the sleep just won't come. They don't happen to often thankfully, and usually only when I've forgotten to take my tablets until late in the day. So I'm lying here staring at the darkness, thinking thoughts And remembering memories so I thought I'd blog. Dear AASP, I suppose this isn't really an unsent letter because I know you're going to read it, you asked for it in fact. I wasn't going to write it, because I like to be contrary and not do the things I've been asked to do. But as I lay here waiting for the sleep that is evading me I thought of all the things I wanted to say to you. There are so many things, especially for a mind that often dwells on the past, mulling over past mistakes, past indiscretions, the moments of my life I'm not proudest of. The dark voice never lets me forget those I've hurt. I'm sure I hurt you, how could it not have hurt? Yet in the last few days ...

Dear ALL the Boys of my Youth, Let me start by saying I'm sorry. Each of you has a particular thing that I am sorry for but let's just assume that I am sorry for everything. In case you were unaware, when I was 16 an event happened that would shape who I would become in the months and years that came after it. I was terribly hard on myself growing up, I believed I was an ugly hideous beast that would be alone forever because no boys would ever want to be with me. I didn't even have my first kiss until I was 16 (with you Luke, where are you now?). I had no self confidence whatsoever. Then on a night out with a friends, one of my friends older brother and some of his friends a thing happened that changed who I was. One of the older brothers friends got me alone (everyone else was busy breaking into the Local Outdoor Pool) and started  to tell me lovely things. It rapidly became something more than talking and before I knew it, this boy I hardly knew was having sex with ...

I love that after knowing each other for  nearly 23 years and being married for almost 10 my husband shaped person can still say and do things that surprise me. I love that he still gives me butterflies in my stomach. I love that I still enjoy kissing him, cuddling with him, or even just sitting next to him watching TV. I still adore the way his eyes sparkle when he smiles and the way he holds my hand. I love his brains, his sense of humour, his damn sexy good looks. I love that he gets me, that he supports me, that he comforts me, that he touches me. I could ask for no better husband shaped person. Happy birthday darling husband! Love you lots, AHAW xxx