a warped view

Since returning from my overseas jaunt I am finding it so hard to get back into my blogging. I think about it constantly, the knowledge that I have so much to catch up on never far from my thoughts. The more I think about it, the less I feel inspired. My motivation levels are at a low and things have to really inspire me to get me to be productive. I'm hoping that it will pass soon. But with every day it doesn't my catch up list gets longer. Come on motivation, come to mama.

I've spoken quite a bit about how much I love love. I like to say the word love, I like to tell people I love them, I'm a big fan of the whole concept. Yet I despise the day that purports to be the celebration of one of my favourite things. It's that v day thing today and I'm doing my very best to ignore it. Yes, I'm one of THOSE people. Of course there's a part of me that would love to have roses delivered to me but I would much prefer to receive them because my husband loves me and thought of it himself, not because a day (and a whole bunch of retailers) told him to. The way lovers are supposed to treat each other on v day is the way they should treat each other every day of every month of every year. Love your girlfriend? Give her flowers just because. Love your boyfriend? Cook him a romantic meal because you care. Love your wife? Give her jewellery just to let her know you love her. Love your husband? Give him a blow job because its Thursday and you love h...

Today the hsp and I fly out of the country with some of our favourite people! I'm hoping that a holiday will be just what the doctor ordered (except he didn't really because I've been avoiding him). I've been a bit flat the last week or so and so hopefully some tropical weather, massages, lounging and sight seeing will brighten my mood. This is the first time the hsp has ever left the country and the first time for me since I was 14. We're very excited and can't wait to explore. We will be travelling with the very lovely, very experienced (at travelling, no comment on anything else) and completely delightful Kacy & Grum (and the dinos). They have given us heaps of awesome travel tips so far and I'm sure they will be very useful in helping us to not die. The lovely Devar (Ben), will also be flying with us and he is an international travel virgin too. Excite! Our forward scouting party, Kat and Luke, arrived on Monday and have hopefully found all the b...

Things I am grateful for today 1. Tomorrow we fly to Bali 2. Erin 3. My mum for so many reasons but today in particular for looking after our kids while we're away 4. A fabulous group of friends who are helping out while we're in Bali 5. Music 6. That I can lay on my bed and look out the window at the trees and the sky 7. That I've been blessed by so many wonderful opportunities this year 8. Hugs from small people 9. Smiles 10. The words "I love you" What are you grateful for today?

Sometimes, when I'm feeling a bit blue, when the sads take hold and I can't shake them, when the darkness gets too dark, sometimes I just want to cry. Yet sometimes the tears won't come. That's when I turn to my sad songs. They're usually just enough to break the wall and let the salty tears run free.  Goodbye to You (Unplugged Version) - Michelle Branch This song features at the end of the Buffy the Vampire Slayer Episode "Tabula Rasa" (S06E08). Michelle Branch perform it live at The Bronze and as it plays we watch Giles fly away to England leaving Buffy to deal with the harsh realities of life and see Tara packing her things and moving out after breaking up with Willow . The realtionship between Tara and Willow was always one of my very favourites and not only does this song remind me of their breakup but also of the things to come later at the end of the season. It reduces me to a blubbering mess.   The Special Two - Missy Higgins The Soun...

I'm not a huge fan of Guy Sebastian.He seems like an absolutely lovely guy, maybe a little too lovely, but his music has never done it for me. However I heard the song Battle Scars on the radio the other day and, before realising it was Guy, decided I quite liked it. I was surprised later to find out it was his song. It's not really anything about the music that I like, it's the lyrics. As discussed in my video earlier today, words are important to me. The right words can reduce me to tears (both happy and sad), make my day better, cheer me up, make me fall in love, make me your friend for life and so much more. (I also like that he's Australian, its the patriot in me). I wish I never looked, I wish I never touched I wish that I could stop loving you so much Cause I'm the only one that's trying to keep us together When all of the signs say that I should forget her I wish you weren't the best, the best I ever had I wish that the good outwei...

There's some pretty special things about me. I have depression, anxiety and ADHD. This gives me some pretty special super powers. It gives me the ability to speak without thinking, to over share when I shouldn't, to get carried away with things rather than staying level headed and in control. It makes me think things are a good idea when they aren't. It gives me an extra special ability to piss people off. It allows me to feel especially shit when I fuck up and leaves me feeling like I want to crawl into a dark hole and stay there. Can you tell I'm having a special kind of day?