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Hoarding and My Writing

Because Alan & I are starting a new business and I will be running the office side of it from home we have decided to make a concerted effort to tidy up our study/office. Part of that process involves me going through boxes and boxes of crap, throwing away the rubbish and finding homes for the lucky possessions that escape disposal.

This is a big deal for me because I was raised by a single mother who is a hoarder. She is still a hoarder and despite being a neat freak continues to hold on to Better Homes & Gardens Magazines from 1985 because one day she might like to go back and read them. This has, of course, led to me being a hoarder as well. I say of course but I suppose it is like anything, it could have gone one of two ways, it could have left me a complete minimalist who despised the thought of hoarding even the smallest item or it could have (and did) result in me being a hoarder to the extreme as well.

This time however, I decided to be ruthless. My hoarding does not make me happy, in fact it makes my depression worse. When my house is messy, my mind is messy and it gets me down. The thought of making it not messy also gets me down and so I enter an unhealthy spiral. Yesterday I created rubbish bag after rubbish bag of mess, ruthlessly throwing away items I have hoarded since I was 15 and younger. I threw away a box of letter my high school friends sent me after I moved to Perth, cause really what purpose do they serve me now? I haven't looked at them for over 5 years and why would I want to? I did nearly hyperventilate as I threw them away but I did it and I don't regret it.

However I also found some items I will never throw away. I found an old exercise book filled with poetry my 16 year old self wrote. My writing journal from Uni and some photos I thought were lost forever.

When I started this 30 Day Challenge I mentioned that I struggle with doing things everyday and when I opened up my old writing journal from Uni the first entry said this

The prospect of writing a journal, making entries every day, is a little scary to me. I have never been one to labour secretly over a locked book, recording my innermost thoughts. I become distracted. I forget that each day I am supposed to put myself on paper
Its good to know that somethings never change! I will probably be posting some more of my old writing in the next few days

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Comments

  1. Something to Say5 November 2010 at 10:12

    You need Peter Walsh.
    Seriously you are just sentimental. I have boxes of penpal/love letters, postcards all from a good 20+ years ago. These are my memories should the one in my head fail anytime soon. x

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