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Laying here waiting for sleep

If there is one thing my family is good at, it is wakes. Tonight after I left the hospital and went to my cousin Debbie's (Carol's sister) it felt almost as if we were having a pre-wake. Everyone was sharing stories about Carol, happy stories, stories that made us laugh, that distracted us from the tears and saddness. I think there will be a lit of those in the coming days so it was nice to remember and hear about the happy times.

I still haven't had a proper cry, although I've been teary several times. I thought I might have a cry when I got home, but all I wanted to do was crawl into bed and find comfort in the strong arms and gentle words of my husband. So now I lay here, listening to the steady breathing of the man I love, adore and cherish hoping that he will never have to endure what George is going through. Hoping, praying and wishing that we will grow old together and that when it is our time we go peacefully together in each others arms.

My phone is next to me on the bedside table in case there is any news during the night. If not I will head back to the hospital tomorrow and play the waiting game again.

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