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The waiting is over... Life goes on...

Every day people lose their loved ones, they slip away unnoticed by the rest of the world. People carry on with their lives, oblivious that a husband lies alone in his bed, his arms empty and his pillow wet with tears. The mechanisms of the world keep turning, unaware that a son can no longer confide his secrets to his mother, seek her comfort when he falls down, feel the warmth and unconditional love of her hand in his.

Even now as my heart aches for the loss of such an amazing woman, my life continues on. I help my children with their homework, I cook dinner, I talk with my friends, I laugh and then, as I remember, a heavy sadness and guilt falls upon me. How can I be laughing? How could I forget for even a moment that the world has lost some fraction of its beauty, that I can never again see her smiling face, hear her laugh, kiss her cheek? Shouldn't the skies be grey? The flowers dead? The laughter gone from the world?

But she wouldn't want that. She would want us to remember the good times, the stories we have collected in the lives she was a part of, the stories that make us laugh, that make us happy she was here at all. So when I catch myself laughing or smiling in these days since she left us I remember that I am laughing for her, for the beauty and the wonder that made her the amazing woman that she was. I am happy because I was lucky enough to call her my family and my friend. I am happy because everyday I choose to remember the example she set for those around her, that everyday I try to be a better mother, wife, daughter, sister and friend because of who she was.

I love you Carol, give your dad a kiss for me
x x

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