A scary day in our lives

This is another post from my old tumblr blog. I am posting it here because the events described within have affected our lives so much and the aftermath has defined who we are as a family, a couple and as people

So I posted on twitter a little while ago that it was a scary day at my house as Alan has gone to work today with his resignation in hand but with no new job to go to. A couple of people who are relatively new to our lives have asked me why, what happened? Unfortunately the answer to this question is far too complicated to answer in a 140 character tweet. So I thought I would write a blog about it.

The details below have been pieced together by me from personal accounts, police reports and news stories.

Just over 4 years ago, about a month and a half after our master 4 was born, my husband Alan was assaulted at his workplace, BWS Maddington. It was an average workday, there was Alan and two staff in the store and a number of authentic customers when some people entered the store under the false appearance of being customers but actually intending to steal several bottles of alcohol. After watching one of the group, a woman, walk out of the store with alcohol concealed under her clothing. Another member of the group, a male, approached the counter to purchase a single mixer can. It was then that Alan informed him that he would need to pay for the alcohol that the woman had taken. The male was insistent that she hadn’t stolen anything and he wouldn’t be paying for it. As he is perfectly within his right to do as a liquor store manager, Alan informed the man that he was denying him service unless he paid for ALL of the alcohol that had been removed from the store by the group. 

The man became rowdy and aggressive and Alan made the decision to call the police. It was then that Alan made the critical mistake that would almost destroy our live. He turned his back on the man. Because he had his back turned he was able to be overpowered by the man and one or two of his friends and was pushed out the front door of the store, pushed to the ground, hit, kicked and stomped on. One of the group kicked or stomped on his head, fracturing his skull and perforating his eardrum. No one came to his aid, none of the staff, none of the customers, no one. They watched as he had his sense of safety and dignity was beaten out of him. Some days I am angry at those people who did nothing, some days I understand why they stood by. One of the staff pressed the silent alarm and after he was laying bleeding and broken on the ground the group jumped into their car and drove away.

I was blissfully unaware of what had happened to my husband until I received a phone call from the hospital to inform me that Alan had been taken to the hospital in an ambulance. I was so distraught that I threw my two big kids at my mum, jumped in the car with my new born baby and cried as I sped to the hospital, unsure of what I would find when I got there. It wasn’t until I returned home several hours later that I discovered I had left the house in such a panic that I hadn’t even locked the front door. 

When I arrived at the hospital I was taken to see him in the ED. He was a mess. He was bleeding from his ears, he was shaking from the pain he was in and he was a shadow of the man I loved and married. It was the absolutely worst experience I have ever had.

After he was released from hospital we went through weeks and months of recovery, physio, doctors visits, pain management, angry outbursts, depression, anxiety. We had a brand new baby, our lives should have been full of joy and instead they were the hardest months of our lives. And BWS sent him right back to the store he had been assaulted in. The lack of support and the attitudes of some of the higher up staff at BWS were disgusting, several times it felt like he was being assaulted all over again. Then finally they moved him to the Kelmscott BWS, a new store but with exactly the same type of demographic. 

Since all of this happened we have almost destroyed our marriage twice. I won’t go into details as there are somethings that should remain private. But because of that one incident we have been to hell and back!

Alan has never felt safe at work since that day and has in fact been assaulted by customers several more times, just never to the same extent. He hates going to work and has finally reached the point where he can’t take it anymore. So today may be the start of a scary new adventure for us. My husband is not an impulsive man so it has taken a lot for him to get to this point. And despite everything we’ve been through (or maybe because of) we now have a stronger marriage, one I know can survive anything.

If you would like to ask me anymore questions about my post please feel free to do so on either twitter or by email. I will answer as best I can.