Friday, 11 May 2012

Generation Gap

Let me start this post by saying that I love my mother shaped person to absolute bits and pieces. She has always been the things I aspire to be as a mother and woman, strong, independent, loyal, loving, courageous, caring, compassionate and an optimist. However there are some things that we just don't see eye to eye on. One of the biggest differences between us is our view on sharing personal stories, emotions, hurdles, etc.

I think it is 99% a generational thing. She was raised with the belief that you didn't talk about personal problems, you just got on with things. Mental illness was considered a weakness and weakness in any form was not something that other people should know about. Serious issues were always discussed behind closed doors and were never, ever talked about in polite company. It is ingrained in her and on top of that she is a very private, reserved person any way.

I, on the other hand, am seriously lacking a filter (as if you hadn't noticed already). I will discuss any thing and every thing with any one who cares to listen. I will put it on twitter, facebook, my blog, I will tell people at dinner parties. My belief is that by sharing my experiences and hurdles and mistakes I may be able to help someone else to make better decisions or feel better about things that didn't turn out so well. For every emotion we experience as human beings, someone else is feeling exactly the same way and by giving that emotion a voice it encourages others to do the same.

My MSP doesn't understand how or why I feel comfortable with the whole world knowing my business. She worries it will make people look at me differently, affect (or is that effect?) how they treat me, cause them to judge me unfairly. I guess that's part of her job description, to want to save me from possible hurt and ridicule. For me, if you are going to judge me or treat me differently because of the experiences and events of my life then I probably don't really want to know you any way and you should probably take a long hard look at yourself in the mirror.

I am proud that I am able to share so honestly and openly. I'm proud that I have found a voice that can discuss the bad as well as the good. I am always conscious of never ever writing anything that would be hurtful to anyone else, if I wouldn't say it to your face, I won't say it online. But I refuse to pull punches and be polite and quiet and pretend everything is perfect and roses when it isn't. That's not to say my life, or life in general, is always shit, because it's not. I love my life! Depression you can see yourself out anytime now though.

Are you an online over sharer like me or are you more reserved like my mum? Do you ever not share something because you worry what people might think?


Channelled Creativity said...

You must have lapsed when you expressed your desire for poor old anonymous to fuck off, cause that really hurt!

tif flynn said...

When I say that I don't want to be hurtful to anyone else I mean people that are important to me, people that I care about, people that are respectful. By hurtful I meant sharing information that is not mine to share, writing things that would be upsetting to my family or friends, about my life or theirs.

If you are the anonymous person who made disrespectful and judgmental comments on my blog then I offer you no apologies. I have endured nasty people many times in my life and I will do it no more. This is my space, a space where I share my most private pain. Yes it is on the internet, and yes the internet is a public space, but that does not mean that everything that every person writes is an invitation to be abused.

My telling you to fuck off was not intended to be hurtful as such, it was intended to be a clear and concise message that your negativity is not welcome here. You seem to have missed that message. I find it curious and sad that you put so much energy into reading my blog and commenting on it when you clearly don't like me or my words. Don't you have something more productive to do with your time?

tif flynn said...

Oh and furthermore, if you spoke to me in real life the way you have spoken to me on here, I'd tell you to fuck off to your face.

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