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tif's Guide to Parenting

First of let me say that I have no training other than my almost 14 years of being a parent. I do not hold any sort of qualification that makes me an "expert". Now we've got that out of the way, here's my tips.

1. Love your child(ren) - this one seems pretty straight forward and easy but sometimes it gets forgotten. There are many definitions of the word love (and obviously I'm not referring to sexual love here!) but for me this means to have affection, warmth, fondness towards your offspring, to like them, to be interested in them as a person.

2. Make sure your child(ren) know that they are loved - loving them is all well and good, but if they don't know in the core of their being that they are loved then it's kind of irrelevant.

3. Give yourself permission to make mistakes - this is one that I'm not very good at myself but that I consider to be very important. We are each of us only human and we are going to cock things up at one time or another in all aspects of our lives. Expecting ourselves to be perfect parents places undue stress and pressure on ourselves and our children. It is good for our kids to see that we aren't perfect, it allows them to know that it's ok to make mistakes.

4. Acknowledge when you've made a bad choice - if you get something wrong, admit it! Apologise to your children and explain to them. If you lose your temper and yell at them when you wish you hadn't tell them. It's ok to say to your kids "I should have made different choices then, I'm sorry that I lost my temper". Talking about mistakes and feelings gives kids permission to do the same.

5. Trust yourself - if some "expert" or well meaning family member or friend has given you advice and it doesn't sit right with you, or just feels wrong for your family then have the courage to trust your own instincts. Everyone is different, every parent child relationship is different and every family is different. Trust your own instincts and make the right decision for you and your family.

6. Trust your kids - little people are much better at listening to their instincts than big people. If your kids don't want to spend time with someone or don't want to hug them or be left alone with them then there is a reason. Give them trust without making them earn it, you'll probably find they will live up to your expectations because you've given them permission to.

7. Remember that children are people too - always treat your kids with the same respect and courtesy that you would treat any other member of the human race. They are miniature sized people that you have been given the gift to care and nurture for, they are not your possessions.

8. Listen to your children - teach your children that their thoughts and opinions are important, teach them that sharing feelings and emotions is a healthy and productive thing to do. Be interested in them and their lives. You might just learn something.

9. Have fun - life isn't meant to be dreary, celebrate, party, be silly, cultivate happiness!

I'm sure there is lots more that I could write, but I think these 9 things are the most important. I hope someone, somewhere finds them helpful.




- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

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