Skip to main content

my personality is just an aspect of my broken bits

since i started considering the possibility that i may have adhd, and since receiving my diagnosis, i have been doing lots of reading about it. the diagnostic criteria is seen by some as a bit nonspecific and there is no blood test you can do to confirm for sure. in fact some people are still convinced that it's not even a thing. there are three different types of adhd; there is predominantly inattentive type, predominantly hyperactive/impulsive type and there is a combination of the two.

the diagnostic criteria tend to come off as quite negative (things that are wrong with you) including things like, does not give close attention to details or makes careless mistakes, has trouble keeping attention on tasks, has trouble organizing activities, avoids, dislikes, or doesn't want to do things that take a lot of mental effort for a long period of time, loses things needed for tasks and activities, is easily distracted, is forgetful in daily activities, talks excessively, blurts out answers before questions have been finished, interrupts or intrudes on others (e.g., butts into conversations).

it's easy to see how kids (and adults) could end up feeling a bit shitty about themselves and feel broken and inadequate. so during my research i also found a fact sheet listing some "positive aspects of adhd". reading through the list i felt as if what i was reading was actually a description of something i've always just referred to as my personality!! i've shared it with a couple of friends and they agree, its a perfect description of what makes me, me. it's a little bit weird really. i've always been a believer that our experiences shape who we are, that without both the good and bad parts of my life i wouldn't be who i am. but to see almost my entire personality written down on fact sheet as being an aspect of this new name for my brokenness is unsettling. 

for those of you that know me well enough (or maybe even if you don't know me all that well), the list is below and please let me know if you think it describes me too (or if you think it doesn't... in which case you'll most likely be wrong but it would still be interesting to know)

  • Sensitive
  • Empathetic with other's feelings
  • Feels deeply
  • Creative
  • Problem Solver
  • Inventive
  • Sees from a unique perspective
  • Acute perception
  • Great sense of humour
  • Environmentally observant
  • Spontaneous
  • Fun
  • Open and unsecretive
  • Eager for acceptance
  • Willing to forgive
  • Intense involvement in a task of interest
  • Difficult to fool
  • Look to the core of people, situations and issues
  • Down to earth
  • Good networker
  • Sees relationships between people and things
  • Observant
  • Loyal




Comments

  1. Yep. That's you to the core. I love you for all that, and anything that may ever be on any other list in the history or future of the universe. To the moon and back you are my most treasured friend and I thank the universe daily that you came into my life.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Thanks for taking the time to comment!

Popular posts from this blog

How to do all the things

I am so tired of people telling other people how to do any and all of the things. What words you can say if you're over 30, what music to like, what movies are ok to admit you enjoy, how you should be using your phone, facebook, instagram, twitter, toothbrush, kitchen sink, how you should live your life, spend more time being in the moment, not be on antisocial social media, what you should and shouldn't feel good or bad about, how people should or shouldn't be parents, women, men, feminists, activist, human beings. It just goes on and on. Here's an idea. If you don't like the way I do things or the words I say you have two choices. If you genuinely like me then you can choose to put up with the things about me that don't mesh 100% with the way you live your life (as I do with many of the people I love when it's not a deal breaker like racism or violence) or you can remove me from your facebook, twitter, instagram, life. That's it. Those are your two o...

Week One... Or Should I Say Week Two Thousand One Hundred and Seventy Nine...

 That's how many weeks I have been alive (give or take a couple of days). Two thousand one hundred and seventy-nine. Yet here I am still fighting the same fights I have always fought. Self-image, self-acceptance, unrelenting standards, imposter syndrome.  Once again I find myself in a body that feels uncomfortable and unhealthy. It crept up on me slowly and suddenly all at the same time. I still barely eat any refined sugar. I turn down the lollies and cakes and doughnuts at work. It's not even a struggle, I no longer enjoy the way sugar makes my body feel. But my old nemesis, potato chips, remains undefeated. I eat potato chips to fill the emptiness in my soul. To feel as miserable physically as I do mentally or emotionally. To get comfort from an association with my childhood. It is the struggle I can't overcome. The war I can't win. So after months of trying on my own to no avail, months of the scales not budging, I have signed up for a healthy eating plan. I'm n...

Waiting

I am sitting in the hospital waiting. I suppose I am waiting for the hand of death to touch my cousin and end the pain she is in. She is getting worse and she keeps suffocating. She told her sister yesterday that her worst fear was dying and not being able to breathe, I can only imagine how horrifying it must be for her. Everyone seems to be getting ready for the end. There is lots of spontaneous declarations of how much this sucks. We have just heard that she has said she doesn't want to do it any more. It can't be long now. What a thing to be waiting for. I feel so small and helpless and inadequate. I wish there's was something I could do. There is a group standing in the hallway. Like they are lining up for some kind of attraction at the fair. I wish they would all sit down. There are periods of idle chatter and then suddenly everyone feels quietly like the weight is too much to bear. It is one of the most horrible experiences I have ever had. As the sun is going down th...