I will never toe the line, fall in line or stay in line. I do not follow the crowd, the beaten path, go by the book, with the flow, roll over or play the game. I will make waves, rock the boat, misbehave, challenge, contradict, reject, act up, offend, transgress. I will be out of line, out of order, go astray, get into mischief, make trouble and do it with joy. I am passionate, intense and zealous, never apathetic or indifferent. I will get it wrong and I will make mistakes and I'll admit when I do (usually).This is who I am. I don't hide it. Don't expect me to change it. It's taken me a lifetime to become comfortable enough to be proud of who I am. So don't take advantage of my passion when it suits you and then try to change me when it doesn't. That's a good way to lose my respect. This is me. Deal with it.
I am so over it right now. Everything feels hard. Everything feels shit. Everything makes me want to cry. I don't want to be a person any more. I don't want to be an anything any more. My children are smart. They get good grades, score well on NAPLAN, their teachers love them. Why then must they continue to do stupid things? I am so sick of a child running to tell me that so-and-so did such-and-such to me, I am sick of them hurting each other, I am sick of them destroying things, I am sick of them whinging, complaining, walking past rubbish on the floor, leaving shit everywhere, pretending they can't see the dog wee on the floor, having rooms that looking like the aftermath of a break and enter. I am sick of washing dishes, of sweeping floors, of the endless amounts of washing and folding and cleaning and tidying and cooking and planning and thinking. I am sick of feeling guilty for not being able to do those things that I should be doing, of feeling guilty that my husband...
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