Thursday, 21 November 2013

Dress Ups

Last night we went to an outing that required us to dress up 1950s style. As always I left everything to last minute but I managed to throw together a pretty decent ensemble. During the night I posted the following on social media 

"dress up parties are much funner when you aren't as fat #justsaying #confessionsofaformerfatgirl"

I posted this because I realised how much easier it had been for me now that I am a size 12/14 instead of a size 20 to find something to wear and how much more comfortable I felt being "in costume". Somebody took exception claiming that I should re-word my statement as some of our mutual friends may find it offensive and upsetting. Hogwash I say. Anyone who has been as big as I have, or bigger, knows exactly what I am talking about. 

When you are any size bigger than a 16 wearing any clothes can be hard, let alone dress ups. While it is getting easier, with more plus size fashion labels available, being overweight and shopping for clothes is not much fun. You feel self conscious constantly. Just looking at clothes labelled plus size reminds you that you are overweight, that you have "failed" to meet society's expectations, that you are a "fat person". Its hard not to feel like everyone is staring at you, judging you, wondering why you don't "just stop eating you fatty". The internal dialogue alone is usually harsh enough to make you want to hide in your house forever eating chocolate and potato chips, let alone the rude stares and judgemental glances from shop assistants and other shoppers. 

I used to say I hated dress up parties. But what I really hated was that I was too fat to make dress up parties fun. I was always too conscious of looking fat to enjoy myself. Plus the costume options are fairly limited when you are overweight and any options available are usually twice the price ("take that fatties!"). Society does not make it easy to be overweight, and to be perfectly honest, nor should it. 

As an overweight (obese actually) person I was unhealthy and unhappy. Technically, according to my BMI, I am still 2 kilos overweight sitting just outside the top of the healthy weight range for my height, but DAMN I feel so much better. I don't feel sick all the time, my mood and energy levels are much more stable and consistent, and most importantly, shopping and dressing up are FUN! I can walk into pretty much any store and find something that fits me. That is a great feeling. I still feel self conscious about my body and weight but that is a different matter for a different post (I'm planning on writing it soon, I promise). 

So basically, I don't think anyone I know would be offended by what I wrote, but rather understand exactly where I am coming from. If by some chance it did upset you, perhaps its time to consider if it was my words that upset you or how you feel in your own body that is upsetting. Or you could just ignore me, that works too :)


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