An old unpublished post I just found: Wednesday's Child: which came first?

I was going through the ridiculous amount of drafts on my blog and found this one. I think I was probably going to write more but I decided to publish it anyway because I think it's an interesting idea...

I was just reading some statistics about depression and I came across something I've seen so many times before but this time it made me stop and pause. This is what I saw

Those with the following personality types are at risk of depression:
Lifelong worrier
Perfectionist
Sensitive to personal criticism
Unassertive
Low self-esteem
Self-critical and negative
Shy and socially anxious

And suddenly I wondered, are these personality types prone to depression, or are these personality types caused by depression? I'm sure I'm not the first person to wonder this, there are lots of much smarter brains than mine that spend a hell of a lot more time thinking about depression than I do.

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I don't want to do this anymore

I am so over it right now. Everything feels hard. Everything feels shit. Everything makes me want to cry. I don't want to be a person any more. I don't want to be an anything any more. My children are smart. They get good grades, score well on NAPLAN, their teachers love them. Why then must they continue to do stupid things? I am so sick of a child running to tell me that so-and-so did such-and-such to me, I am sick of them hurting each other, I am sick of them destroying things, I am sick of them whinging, complaining, walking past rubbish on the floor, leaving shit everywhere, pretending they can't see the dog wee on the floor, having rooms that looking like the aftermath of a break and enter. I am sick of washing dishes, of sweeping floors, of the endless amounts of washing and folding and cleaning and tidying and cooking and planning and thinking. I am sick of feeling guilty for not being able to do those things that I should be doing, of feeling guilty that my husband...

now you're just somebody that i used to know

this song by gotye (good thing this is typed or i'd still be stumbling over the pronunciation... goat-ee-ay... gotcha...goat-yee...) is one of my favourites at the moment and is on constant rotation at my house and in my car. the song is about two ex lovers but has gotten me thinking about all those people that were once an intrinsic part of my life, helped me to define who i was and my place in the world and are now just some people that i used to know. we all have them. those people that we thought we would be friends with forever, that we talked to every day, hung out with all the time, people who knew all our in jokes because they helped create them, knew all the stories of our past. then suddenly you wake up one day and realise its been a month since you saw them, then its six months, then you can't remember the last time you saw them. you think about calling them but it feels awkward, then you tell yourself that they could call you if they wanted to. time passes and the...

Confessions of a Fat Girl

I have been concerned about my weight and appearance ever since I was 12. I was teased in primary school for being fat and called names like porky. Here is a picture from my Year 7 Graduation to illustrate how fat and disgusting I was I say fat and disgusting because I truly believed when I was 12 that I was some hideously fat monster that no boy would ever want to kiss, no boy would ever want to go out with, no boy would ever love. It makes me so sad looking at this photo to know that I was so slim, so pretty, my life should have been full of wonder and possibility. Instead I began my journey down the long dark road that has led me to the depths of depression and an obsession with my weight (but thankfully never an eating disorder) and today it has led me to make this confession... I am currently the heaviest I have ever been in my entire life. I have eaten myself to the weight I never wanted to be. I am the exact thing I was teased for being. Along with the fact that I don...

a warped view

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