a warped view

Let me start this post by saying that I love my mother shaped person to absolute bits and pieces. She has always been the things I aspire to be as a mother and woman, strong, independent, loyal, loving, courageous, caring, compassionate and an optimist. However there are some things that we just don't see eye to eye on. One of the biggest differences between us is our view on sharing personal stories, emotions, hurdles, etc. I think it is 99% a generational thing. She was raised with the belief that you didn't talk about personal problems, you just got on with things. Mental illness was considered a weakness and weakness in any form was not something that other people should know about. Serious issues were always discussed behind closed doors and were never, ever talked about in polite company. It is ingrained in her and on top of that she is a very private, reserved person any way. I, on the other hand, am seriously lacking a filter (as if you hadn't noticed already). ...

Sometimes I meet people and I know instantly that they are awesome! They laugh at the same things I laugh at, they share similar views to me on things, they are clever, sassy and generally pretty neato (I'm mostly talking about other ladies here), and I think to myself, you're pretty fantastic and I would love to have you as my friend and do stuff with you and hang out and talk about life and love and stupid things we've done. Then comes the kicker. How, as a thirty something grown woman, do you ask another grown woman over for a play date or out for dinner, without seeming like a weirdo / lesbian / desperate / friendless / loser? It's much easier for kids to make new friends, they just say stuff like "I like He-Man and you like He-Man and I think that makes you totally the best and we should be best friends forever until we're like, old and wrinkly and  our butts sag" then they piss themselves laughing and the friendship is cemented. But that just doesn...

So do you know what is super duper awesome? When you spend about 20 minutes writing a blog post and then you publish it but forget to use tags so you go back in to add them but then your blog eats your blog post! That's what just happened. This was a post and then suddenly it wasn't. Well now it is again. Well it will be soon when I've rewritten it. *grr*

Here are the lyrics from the song that inspired my Unsent Letters, seemed appropriate to share after today's post Unsent - Alanis Morissette Dear Matthew I like you a lot I realize you're in a relationship With someone right now and I respect That I would like you to know that if you're ever single In the future and you want to come visit me in California I would be open to spending time with you and finding Out how old you were when you wrote your first song Dear Jonathan I liked you too much I used to be attracted to boys Who would lie to me and think solely about themselves and you Were plenty self-destructive for my taste at the time I used to say The more tragic the better the truth is whenever I think of the early 90's Your face comes up with a vengeance like it was yesterday Dear Terrance I love you muchly you've been nothing But open hearted and emotionally available and supportive And nurturing and consummately there for me I kept drawing you in And ...

Dear ALL the Boys of my Youth, Let me start by saying I'm sorry. Each of you has a particular thing that I am sorry for but let's just assume that I am sorry for everything. In case you were unaware, when I was 16 an event happened that would shape who I would become in the months and years that came after it. I was terribly hard on myself growing up, I believed I was an ugly hideous beast that would be alone forever because no boys would ever want to be with me. I didn't even have my first kiss until I was 16 (with you Luke, where are you now?). I had no self confidence whatsoever. Then on a night out with a friends, one of my friends older brother and some of his friends a thing happened that changed who I was. One of the older brothers friends got me alone (everyone else was busy breaking into the Local Outdoor Pool) and started  to tell me lovely things. It rapidly became something more than talking and before I knew it, this boy I hardly knew was having sex with ...

As the mother of Bob, Pete and Burley I am more than familiar with the stress of getting children ready for their day at school. I have had my fair share of mornings that involved me screaming at the kids, them screaming at me, them screaming at each other, everyone ending up grumpy and running late, and me feeling like the worst mother in the world for two hours after they had gone to school. Yet I felt there must be some better way, a way that would mean everyone went about their day feeling happy and calm. Since giving up my workaholic ways 2 years ago I have been struggling to do normal everyday things. Getting out of bed is one of those things. In the second half of last year it was rare for me to make it out of bed before 8, and only then to make myself presentable to drop the kids at school. It was left up to the #HSP to get himself and everyone ready, a task he did because he loves and supports me, but a task he did not enjoy. It was stressful for him, stressful for them and ...

So for those of you that live under a rock (as I usually do), today is International Women's Day. A day to celebrate the struggle of women before us and to celebrate our achievements and successes.  In honour of the women who came before us I would like to acknowledge the women who make a difference in my life. Here they are in no particular order: My Mum, Valerie - there is no one I admire more than her. She sacrificed so much for me and never once made me feel like she was doing it begrudgingly. She taught me what it is to be a women and a mother. She taught me to be independent, brave, loyal, funny, good at Yahtzee and to see both sides of every argument. She taught me that it is not people's position or title that matters but the content of their character. She taught me empathy and sympathy, she taught me to cook! We do not always agree and sometimes we fight but she also taught me the gift of forgiveness. She is pretty ace! My Nana, Pat - she's watching me fro...