a warped view

this song by gotye (good thing this is typed or i'd still be stumbling over the pronunciation... goat-ee-ay... gotcha...goat-yee...) is one of my favourites at the moment and is on constant rotation at my house and in my car. the song is about two ex lovers but has gotten me thinking about all those people that were once an intrinsic part of my life, helped me to define who i was and my place in the world and are now just some people that i used to know. we all have them. those people that we thought we would be friends with forever, that we talked to every day, hung out with all the time, people who knew all our in jokes because they helped create them, knew all the stories of our past. then suddenly you wake up one day and realise its been a month since you saw them, then its six months, then you can't remember the last time you saw them. you think about calling them but it feels awkward, then you tell yourself that they could call you if they wanted to. time passes and the...

I am heartbroken... I feel like the little kid who finds out that Santa was just her dad in a costume with a pillow up his shirt. I LOVE and adore Kevin Smith and his movies. I am an unrepentant fan girl. I have seen every movie he has made multiple times (well except Cop Out but I made it ALL the way through the one time so that's gotta count for something). I quote characters from the View Askewniverse and worship Jason Mewes and his character Jay. I watch videos of Kevin on youtube, I own his book and I have two signed Silent Bob inaction figures. I have even watched the commentary on all the Jersey films! I EVEN LIKED JERSEY GIRL! So you can imagine my excitement when I heard that Kevin Smith was making a horror movie (Red State). I read every article I could about it, I checked out the cast, watched other movies they'd been in while I waited for Red State to be made. I was dying to see this amazing new movie, one of my favourite movie makers doing a movie in one of my ...

On Wednesday we were lucky enough to attend a preview screening of Paranormal Activity 3. I had originally been skeptical of this movie franchise, being under the false impression that it was Blair Witch without the woods. We resisted seeing the first one for quite a while until one night there was nothing else to watch. I was pleasantly surprised. Here was a good old fashioned scary movie. One that didn't rely on blood and gore but instead used mood, sound and old fashioned bump in the night stuff. Number 2 was the same and luckily number 3 has stuck to the same formula. If you don't know the premise behind the franchise you should still enjoy this movie. Despite the fact that it is number three and yet all the events take place before the first and second one, the stories are linked but not so intrinsically that you won't understand what is going on. I should point out that I am not really someone who is scared by horror films. My friends and I watched my first horror...

Last year when I quit my job amongst some unpleasantness I became reclusive and (even more) depressed. I had feelings of hurt and betrayal and loneliness, I felt lost. I began to spend more time on twitter, something I'd never really paid much attention to in the past, despite having signed up over 12 months earlier. To start with I didn't get it. I followed celebrities and read their tweets about things I had no interest in, I didn't see the point. Then after talking with a friend I discovered a world of tweeters who were normal everyday people, who lived in the same city as me, they were interesting and funny and I wanted to be part of it.  I realised straight away that the key to gaining these people as followers (cause that's what it's all about right?!) was to actually be interested in them and what they had to say. To be genuine, to engage, to care. It was easy to be interested, they all had so much to offer. I started talking to people in other parts...

Earlier today I reached my breaking point. It felt ugly and harsh and pointy and sharp. I wrote about it. I sent all the children to their rooms. I tried not to cry. Then I boxed it all up, tied a neat ribbon on top of it and put it away in the-cupboard-of-things-we-do-not-speak-of-that-exists-only-in-my-mind. I gathered the children together, I spoke to them about how I was feeling (in an age appropriate manner of course) and I set some new rules into place. I explained to them that I want them to treasure and value each other, that as brothers and sisters they could ask for no one more loyal in their corner, that they should be kind and generous and helpful to one another. I explained to them that we are all responsible for the kind of house we live in. I told them that I want to live in a happy, loving, uncluttered, tidy house. That I find it hard to cope when there is mess everywhere. I told them I loved them. They all listened, nodding their heads in appropriate places, saying ...

I am so over it right now. Everything feels hard. Everything feels shit. Everything makes me want to cry. I don't want to be a person any more. I don't want to be an anything any more. My children are smart. They get good grades, score well on NAPLAN, their teachers love them. Why then must they continue to do stupid things? I am so sick of a child running to tell me that so-and-so did such-and-such to me, I am sick of them hurting each other, I am sick of them destroying things, I am sick of them whinging, complaining, walking past rubbish on the floor, leaving shit everywhere, pretending they can't see the dog wee on the floor, having rooms that looking like the aftermath of a break and enter. I am sick of washing dishes, of sweeping floors, of the endless amounts of washing and folding and cleaning and tidying and cooking and planning and thinking. I am sick of feeling guilty for not being able to do those things that I should be doing, of feeling guilty that my husband...