a warped view

something you're proud of in the past few days So I've been putting off writing this post. Whenever I do one of these blogging things there is always something that puts a road block in my way. One post that brings everything to a screaming halt and destroys any mojo I may have had going. Right now I am struggling to think of anything I'm proud of. It's been a rough month and a half (ish) and my confidence has taken a pretty big hit (again). That ridiculous depression voice is in my ear telling me that all of the worthlessness is me. That I have little, if anything, of value to offer. This isn't helped by losing my contract for work (long, boring story). More proof that I am shit. SHUT UP DEPRESSION VOICE! However I now have a tiny glimmer of awesomeness that I am clinging to. My inflatable life saver of light. I have been offered the opportunity to work on a film next year. Not only that, but I will be working with some of the newest additions to my list o...

short term goals for this month and why Oops. I fell a bit behind with my revisiting of the 30 Day Challenge! I've had a bit going on (if you don't know what, read some of the other blog posts). So I figured I'd better get back on track and here we are. I have decided to re-do my short term goals because of the little hiccup I had. So here is Day Eight Take 2 get back to being myself figure out a plan for my medication finish the 30 Day Challenge do some creative writing everyday Pretty simple really but at the same time, oh so very hard.

short term goals for this month and why the 2010 day eight can be found here I'm not particularly good at setting goals. I struggle with that whole SMART concept; Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, Timely... sounds like hard work to me! I tend to be more of a dreamer and schemer than a goal setter (you're stunned I know). I suppose though that I do have a few short term goals, not that I would really call them that. So here is my list SHIT I NEED TO DO (aka Goals) Make sure I take my anti depressants and my dexamphetamines EVERY day Blog Attempt to read a book now that I have the new concentration drugs Try to get to bed at a reasonable time, at least most nights of the week See, talk to, and hug my friends more Tell (and show) my family every day that I love them I'm not sure about the Specific, Measurable and Timely parts, but I'm pretty sure I've got attainable and Relevant covered :)

a picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you The 2010 day seven post can be found here This is a post that takes little thinking about. There is only one possible answer to what has the biggest impact on me, and that is my kids! How they are doing, if they are happy, what's going on in their lives, all impact on me, my mood, my day, my life. If I'm feeling sad, these three smiling faces can cheer me up and make me happy once again. They have an impact on every decision I make.  oh, and there's this guy too of course...

favorite super hero and why The 2010 Day Six can be found here growing up I was never really into superheroes. I read comics but it was mostly Archie comics with some occasional British comics that I can't remember the name of. My dad was right into the Phantom but I was never particularly interested, I did however love reading his Asterix books. I vaguely remember watching Superman movies when I was a kid, and have enjoyed the various incarnations of Superman that have appeared on TV.  I became slightly more interested in the world of marvel via some friends when I was in high school and as a "grown up" I've fallen in love with the new breed of superheroes that have graced the silver screen the last few years. I am a little sad at the predominantly male culture associated with the surge in superhero movies and TV shows etc. Don't get me wrong I'm as big a fan of the male superheroes as the next girl (hello Chris Evans, Chris Hemsworth & Jeremy...

a picture of somewhere you've been to This is such an ambiguous topic for today. I've been to so many place, I go to places all the time! I could share places I've been on holiday, places I go to eat, places we take the kids, the ballet, the theatre, my mums house! These are all somewheres that I've been. So I've decided to be tricky and treat this question metaphorically. I've decided that the picture of the somewhere I've been will be a picture of me at (or close to) my heaviest. At the start of the year I blogged about reaching my heaviest ever and how devastated I was by it. I've made a lot of changes this year, worked hard, lost weight, slacked off, put some back on, tried, given up, tried again, and as of today I'm almost back down to the lightest I've been since having kids (just 4 more kgs to go). So, here's somewhere I've been: You can't see a lot of me I know, but you can see all the extra weight in my face. I h...

a habit that you wish you didn’t have the 2010 Day Four post can be found here where to start?! I have quite a few bad habits that I wish I didn't have and I can think of a few that other people wish I didn't have as well! My worst two habits are biting my nails and eating when I'm bored. I had stopped biting my nails for a while but I always go back to it when I'm feeling particularly anxious. Apparently the new drugs for my ADHD will help me get the eating thing under control though so that'll be one less bad habit. My mum would probably consider my swearing a bad habit (despite the fact that I love it) and she probably would also like me to be slightly less argumentative. The HSP would have a pretty long list of bad habits/annoying things I do including forgetting the washing is in the washing machine (sometimes several times), singing loudly and out of tune, not paying attention to what we're watching and then asking lots of questions ab...

a picture of you and your friends the 2010 day three blog post can be found here  however all the picture links from my old posts seem to be broken :( This is some pics of my most favourite people in the whole world These photos are from my birthday last month and sadly not all my favourite people could be there Me & Clint Justin & Me Karen & Me Me & Marie Me & Mill Sean & Me Me & Simon Me & Tina Tina F, Me, Jackie & my Mum Here's some pics of friends I either don't have pics of me with or don't have recent pics together Ben & Bec Erin & Me If I had a pic of Suzie I'd add that as well but sadly I don't! Must remedy that!

the meaning behind your blog name the 2010 Day Two post can be found here My blog is called a warped view because it is a collection of blog posts about how i see the world, my unique (and some might say unusual) way of viewing events, circumstances, people etc. I wear tif coloured glasses and they warp everything. My depression certainly changes the way i interact with the world and its inhabitants, as does my experience as a woman, a mother, daughter, wife and friend. i believe that each of us wears our own set of glasses that colour our world with the sum of our experiences, we're all a little warped really.

a recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself I'm revisting the 30 Day Challenge . My 2010 Day One post can be found here  (I haven't looked at what I wrote, so I wonder if any of my facts will be the same?!) Here's a pic of me with bluey purple hair and no makeup taken right now!  interesting facts: 1. I have always wanted to have brightly coloured far out hair but was too afraid to do it until this year  2. In high school I was so worried about being teased by my bullies that I was afraid to change my hair or get a haircut in case I got the "wrong" one and they teased me more 3. I spent years trying to convince my mum to let me have a fringe. I finally got one a few years ago and now hate my face without a fringe. 4. I am obsessed with bird, owl and tree motifs (not necessarily all three together) 5. I've just been diagnosed with ADHD and I couldn't be happier 6. my favourite TV show right now is The New Girl w...

Just over two years ago I began this blog with the 30 Day Challenge. I was in a new place in my life and over the last two years I've grown a lot and become much more comfortable with who I am. I feel like I'm a different person again than I was two years ago... or maybe just more me than   was before. So I thought I'd do the 30 Day Challenge again, to see just how different my answers are now than they were in October 2010. Oh and I'm also hoping it will help me to get back into good blogging habits! Here's a reminder of what the challenge involves: What is The 30 Day Challenge? Here's how it works  - post every day for 30 days : day 1 - a recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself day  2 - the meaning behind your blog name day 3 - a picture of you and your friends day 4 - a habit that you wish you didn’t have day 5 - a picture of somewhere you've been to day 6 - favorite super hero and why day 7 - a picture of someone/so...

i n this past month, what have you learned Obviously by 'this past month' it refers to the time period I was supposed to have completed the challenge in and so because it has taken me longer than a month I will talk about what I have learned since I started the challenge last year. Of course the first thing I have learned (or perhaps reinforced) is that I am not good at maintaining consistency!! In fact I don't know that I have learned  anything that I didn't already know, just reminded my self of some things I had forgotten. These things, in no particular order, are listed below I love to write (As I already said) I am not good at maintaining consistency Somethings are harder to talk about that others I don't have to be sad to be able to write Sharing things about my life helps other people who are in the same situation or headspace and thought they were alone It is too easy to procrastinate instead of write I LOVE to write! ;)

a picture of you from last year and now, how have you changed since then? Well so much has changed in my life since this time last year! This time last year I was about 15kgs lighter due to the fact that I was working in an extremely stressful environment, sometimes up to 70 hours a week, I was constantly  on my feet due to understaffing and I never had time to eat. There was also quite a bit of stress in my personal life which I'm sure contributed to my skininess as well. I in no way shape or form miss my old job or the stress it caused me but I am disappointed at the weight I have gained and am currently in the process of trying to lose it again.  At this time last year I also hadn't started using my twitter account as... let's say 'intensively'... as I do now. I hadn't met the people that in a relatively short amount of time would become some of the best friends that I have ever had, people that I love and adore with all my heart and people that I hope will b...

why are you doing this 30 day challenge When I first decided to do this blog it was because I wanted to get into the habit of writing more often. I used to write a lot when I was younger, and still yearn to, but often have no idea what to write about. I suppose I thought this challenge would give me specific things to write about, thereby encouraging me to write. However another one of my problems seems to have gotten in the way; motivation! I struggled to do any writing at all over the festive season and school holidays but I am hoping to blog more regularly again now. I also want to write something longer in the hopes of one day writing (and completing) something good enough to get published! I figure every word I write encourages me to write more!

I thought it was probably about time I wrapped this challenge up!  what do you think about your friends I'm not really sure I understand what I'm supposed to write for this topic.  I think my friends are wonderful and awesome and amazing or else I wouldn't be friends with them! I am not really a person who has ever had a lot of friends. At school I didn't have a particular group that I belonged to, I floated amongst the groups always at the edges. I never really fit into anyone category, I wasn't quite nerdy enough to hang with the nerdy kids, I wasn't sporty, I was in the band but I wasn't a band geek, I wasn't one of the popular kids but I was friends with some of them, I liked Rap & Hip Hop but I was too white. I guess I have always been little bits of everything, but with no real passion or focus. It's probably why I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up. Things haven't really changed as I've gotten older. I still don...

what I would find in your bag Most likely a combination of the following Purse Another purse with all my membership/loyalty cards in it A coin purse Mobile phone iPod iPad Nintendo DS Diary Pens Pencils Earphones Notebook Post-it Notes A book Chewing Gum Salt Packets from McDonald/Chicken Treat Straws Toys Tissues (used and otherwise) Muesli Bars Keys Hair ties / clips Sunglasses 3D Glasses Receipts Scraps of paper Notes from School I think that about covers the regular stuff... no wonder my bag is so freakin heavy!

a letter to your parents I have had a bit of a break from the blogging. We have had lots going on in our lives with the purchase of a new business, a trip over east for training, the holiday season fast approaching and general day to day life with three kids. I would like to say the break in my blogging was totally due to being busy but that would be a lie. Every time I think about writing my blog I remember that day 24's post is a letter to my parents and I put it off. I have complicated relationships with my parents, and sharing my thoughts and feelings about those relationships with the whole world, including family members seems daunting. I have, however, decided to finally bite the bullet and complete day 24's post so I can move on with the challenge. So here goes nothing... Dear Mum & Dad  Firstly I want you both to know that I love you very much and I hope that nothing I say in this letter upsets you or makes you feel that you have failed as a parent. I have very di...

something you crave a lot Food is my weakness. I don't drink alcohol, smoke, do drugs, gamble or have any other addictions apart from food. When it comes to food I have no control over myself what-so-ever, this may explain why I am a much larger size than I would like to be.  Once I get it in my head that I feel like eating something I will obsess about it until I eat that thing. My most common weaknesses/cravings are chips (in a packet or hot) with lots of salt, brie cheese and chocolate (at a certain time of the month).  Chips is the worst, I have been a chip addict since I was little. At the moment Kettle Salted are my favourite as they are really really salty, followed closely by Red Rock Deli Sweet Chilli and Sour Cream. I also occassionally have cravings for some old school favourites like Twisties (cheese or chicken), Burger Rings or Cheezels. Once I start a packet I struggle to stop myself from eating the whole thing and have been known to make myself feel sick. I ha...

what makes you different from everyone else Well I think it would be hard to find something about myself that no one in the world had/did the same so I will just list some of the things that I think make me special My spotty brown eye (@annecdotal_anna has one too, can't think of a nicer lady to share an abnormal eye with), my ability to focus on the positives 99% of the time, my belief and trust in the universe, my ability to give people my complete trust despite having been hurt so many times in the past, my desire to see everyone feel good about themselves and believe, as I do, that everyone is special and valuable, my tendency to put others before myself, to help whenever help is needed without a second thought, my loyalty, my sense of humour and ability to laugh at myself, my resilience and my determination to keep getting up and doing my best. I think all of that makes me pretty special and sets me apart from a lot of people in this mixed up world of ours.

someone you see yourself marrying or being with in the future Well today's post seems a bit redundant really doesn't it?! Seeing as I am married to Alan and extremelly happy and in love with him. I suppose I could use this as an opportunity to expose a deep dark secret.  One day, when Ally has has a sex change so she and Seb can be gay together I hope to lure her away from him with my vagina! There, I said it! I feel so relieved!