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One in a million...

So apparently I am one of a very small percentage of ADHD adults who experiences a worsening of depression symptoms when taking Dexamphetamines.  To start with I didn't notice, but as I continued to take my daily doses my depression symptoms have gotten worse and worse. The situation reached critical mass on Sunday night. My thoughts and behaviour got beyond my control and I had a complete meltdown. The rest of the week has been nothing short of difficult. There has been tears at the drop of the hat, an inability to regulate my emotions (more than usual), and a highly emotional state in general. The smallest things have sent me spiralling out of control. The hsp says its the worst he has ever seen me. It has left me feeling afraid and ashamed. My logical brain knows that there is no reason to feel this way but my logical brain is not exactly the loudest at the moment.  Luckily I had an appointment with my ADHD doctor today and I informed him what was going on. ...

Unsent Letters: Dear Norms

Dear Norms, I'm writing you this letter because there's a few things we need to get straight. For a start, you might be wondering who these Norms are and if you're one of them. Norms are people who haven't had an atypical brain function diagnosis (i.e. depression, anxiety, ADHD, bipolar, PTSD, cognitive issues, etc etc). They're a bit like muggles, if people with mental health issues were wizards. I've addressed this letter to all of you because you might be guilty of some of the things I'm going to talk about without even realising it. So here's a list of things you need to know/understand 1. Just because my illness(es) don't produce physical symptoms you can see (like bruises, broken bones, hair falling out etc) that doesn't mean my illness isn't real. I can one hundred percent guarantee you that while it is classified as a mental illness there are physical symptoms that I deal with every day and this is on top of the emotional and psyc...

30 Day Challenge Again - Day Eight

short term goals for this month and why the 2010 day eight can be found here I'm not particularly good at setting goals. I struggle with that whole SMART concept; Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, Timely... sounds like hard work to me! I tend to be more of a dreamer and schemer than a goal setter (you're stunned I know). I suppose though that I do have a few short term goals, not that I would really call them that. So here is my list SHIT I NEED TO DO (aka Goals) Make sure I take my anti depressants and my dexamphetamines EVERY day Blog Attempt to read a book now that I have the new concentration drugs Try to get to bed at a reasonable time, at least most nights of the week See, talk to, and hug my friends more Tell (and show) my family every day that I love them I'm not sure about the Specific, Measurable and Timely parts, but I'm pretty sure I've got attainable and Relevant covered :)

Ranty McRanterson gives an update on her drugs & has a rant