a warped view

short term goals for this month and why the 2010 day eight can be found here I'm not particularly good at setting goals. I struggle with that whole SMART concept; Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, Timely... sounds like hard work to me! I tend to be more of a dreamer and schemer than a goal setter (you're stunned I know). I suppose though that I do have a few short term goals, not that I would really call them that. So here is my list SHIT I NEED TO DO (aka Goals) Make sure I take my anti depressants and my dexamphetamines EVERY day Blog Attempt to read a book now that I have the new concentration drugs Try to get to bed at a reasonable time, at least most nights of the week See, talk to, and hug my friends more Tell (and show) my family every day that I love them I'm not sure about the Specific, Measurable and Timely parts, but I'm pretty sure I've got attainable and Relevant covered :)

a picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you The 2010 day seven post can be found here This is a post that takes little thinking about. There is only one possible answer to what has the biggest impact on me, and that is my kids! How they are doing, if they are happy, what's going on in their lives, all impact on me, my mood, my day, my life. If I'm feeling sad, these three smiling faces can cheer me up and make me happy once again. They have an impact on every decision I make.  oh, and there's this guy too of course...

favorite super hero and why The 2010 Day Six can be found here growing up I was never really into superheroes. I read comics but it was mostly Archie comics with some occasional British comics that I can't remember the name of. My dad was right into the Phantom but I was never particularly interested, I did however love reading his Asterix books. I vaguely remember watching Superman movies when I was a kid, and have enjoyed the various incarnations of Superman that have appeared on TV.  I became slightly more interested in the world of marvel via some friends when I was in high school and as a "grown up" I've fallen in love with the new breed of superheroes that have graced the silver screen the last few years. I am a little sad at the predominantly male culture associated with the surge in superhero movies and TV shows etc. Don't get me wrong I'm as big a fan of the male superheroes as the next girl (hello Chris Evans, Chris Hemsworth & Jeremy...

since i started considering the possibility that i may have adhd, and since receiving my diagnosis, i have been doing lots of reading about it. the diagnostic criteria is seen by some as a bit nonspecific and there is no blood test you can do to confirm for sure. in fact some people are still convinced that it's not even a thing. there are three different types of adhd; there is predominantly inattentive type, predominantly hyperactive/impulsive type and there is a combination of the two. the diagnostic criteria tend to come off as quite negative (things that are wrong with you) including things like,  does not give close attention to details or makes careless mistakes,  has trouble keeping attention on tasks,  has trouble organizing activities,  avoids, dislikes, or doesn't want to do things that take a lot of mental effort for a long period of time,  loses things needed for tasks and activities, i s easily distracted, i s forgetful in daily activities, ta...

Dear Captain Picard, This is another one of those unsent letters that isn't really an unsent letter because I know that you're going to read it. I'm hoping that you won't be too annoyed at me for writing this but I felt like I needed to. You've been the most amazing friend to me. You've allowed me to feel safe enough to be myself, you've given me a shoulder to cry on and you've listened to me when I've needed to talk. You've made me open up, made me trust, made me remember what it's like to not have to keep myself shielded all the time. In the past, life has taught me (and my depression has told me) that people can't be trusted, that eventually everyone will let me down, that eventually the real me will drive everyone away. It has left me with an almost impenetrable wall to keep me safe, it's left me afraid to let people in. You've seen beyond that and you've had the patience to find your way inside. You've been brav...

I have always been fiercely protective of the people I love, sometimes to my own detriment, sometimes more than those people want me to be. I have never let my sex, my age, my role or my place in the world stop my for standing up for someone. This is particularly true of my mum. She is a strong, independent, smart, wonderful woman, my role model in most things. Growing up there was mostly just her and me. I say that but we had a very close relationship with my grandparents, my cousin lived with us for almost 10 years and my (half) sister from my dad's second marriage spent an inordinate amount of time with us, but in my mind and my heart, when I think of my childhood I think of the two of us together against the world. She raised me to be strong, to stand up for what is right and just, to treat all people equally, to be kind, compassionate and giving and that above all else, family comes first. She also taught me that friends can be our family as much as those we are bound to by ...

So this morning I got a completely random email from someone I used to consider a good friend (we had a thing, I was a bitch, it was a little bit awkward but he's pretty awesome). Apparently he is a reader of my blog and I didn't even know it! He wanted to know why I hadn't blogged in two months. A valid question, one I ask myself every day. My answer was a very pragmatic one, I currently have two jobs, do the admin for our business, study at uni and have to manage a house full of two and four legged mess makers! But I know there's more to it than that. I had started to feel a bit like I was always complaining on my blog, that I made it seem like my life was terrible because I tend to write more freely when I'm in a bad mental place. That couldn't be further from the truth. I have a wonderful life full of amazing people. I am very lucky to live in a country that allows me freedom of speech, access to health care and education for little to no cost (but let...